Unfortunately, I was away on the day we did socratic circles, so instead of reviewing the feedback evidence of my role in the circle, I am reflecting on my role on the volleyball team. When I play my favourite sport (basketball) I am usually very boisterous and confidently loud and vocal. I usually talk to my teammates a lot on the court and offer advice, encouragement or criticism. However, when I play volleyball I am still encouraging, but I do not offer advice or my opinions very often because volleyball is not a sport that I know and understand well. If I had been at school for the socratic circles, it likely would have been the same way. I generally do not speak up about things I am not confident about. In the socratic circles I most likely would have been unconfident and therefore would have kept any opinions I formed to myself from fear of negative evaluation. This would have been very different if, say, I was talking to my friends about basketball or my favourite TV show. I tend to be very opinionated and vocal about the things I love. This is very unusual for me because I mostly don’t care what anybody (other than my friends and family) thinks of me. However, the one exception to this seems to be that I am afraid of peers thinking of me as stupid or a “dumb blonde”.
I know that any opinion or idea that I form will not be dumb if it is well thought through and honest. I also know that if it is an honest opinion, nobody will chide or think less of me for voicing it. This is what I will try to convince myself for our next socratic circle day.
I’m not sure that I can affix an accurate adjective label to myself for my role in an oral activity, because it would depend on the topic of discussion. In english class, I would be most likely to listen very carefully to others and mull thinks over in my head. I might convince myself to create a little input occasionally, but not often. In a socratic circle, I might be described as something along the lines of “good listener” or “quiet thinker”.
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I suspect that your thoughts about being labelled "dumb blonde" stem from the nature of the discussion. As you say, you need time to formulate your thoughts, and if the topic requires you to max out your critical thinking, you're going to feel bewildered from time to time. This is normal and good! The fact that you're a good listener will dispel the stereotype, and when you do proffer your opinion, it will be worthwhile and thoughtful -- not "dumb". One thing to consider is how you might contribute to the group by posing questions, which becomes the equivalent of the court talk during a game. Having read a lot of these responses, I can tell you that most of the class feels exactly like you do. So, I think it's time to take some risks and "shoot/serve"!
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